Cute or dangerous?
For the sake of smothering you with cuteness, we want to start with those who would be great as your children.
Anya — Spy x Family
The most obvious choice, but she still has to be mentioned. If she’s not the epitome of adorable, we don’t know who is. Anya will constantly make you go “aww” with her excited “waku waku” and will be super interested in all the new things you teach her. You’ll get extra points from her if you have an interesting job such as a spy or an assassin.
Anya has only one con: she can read your mind, so be careful with your thoughts around her. She’ll always know where the sweets in your house are hidden, so place them with caution.
Neema — Fluffy Paradise (Isekai de Mofumofu Nadenade suru Tame ni Ganbattemasu)
We hope you like pets because getting one for Neema is not a choice, it’s a must. You won’t even have to play with her that much, she’ll find all the entertainment she needs in her fluffy companion (or, even better, companions).
Neema is incredibly polite and well-behaved, you won’t have your neighbors screaming at you about a broken window. Just don’t let her out of your sight for long if you don’t want her to come back with a stray dog or even a tiger. Visiting zoos is also highly unrecommended.
Norman — The Promised Neverland (Yakusoku no Neverland)
If you’ve always wanted a calm and intelligent child, Norman is the perfect choice. He won’t be causing any problems at school. On the contrary, his teacher will text you non-stop, telling you how great Norman and his achievements are.
The only disadvantage is that there might come a point when you’ll realize that he’s smarter than you. But just try to pretend that it’s not true and that you understand everything he’s telling you about.
Dororo — Dororo
Unlike all the aforementioned kids, Dororo is very mischievous, so you’ll definitely have to deal with the consequences. But fear not, her charm and wits will make it worth it. Determined, reckless and fearless, she’ll be a true leader among her peers, and you just know that when she grows up, she’ll make you truly proud.
If you’ve always wanted a girly girl, Dororo might not be your perfect child, but if you want a little fighter, you’ll be more than happy to have a daughter like her.
Chihiro — Spirited Away (Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi)
We’re not saying you have to leave Chihiro alone for her to grow into a wonderful individual but it’s important for her to understand some things on her own. She might be scared and childlike at first, but give her time and Chihiro will surprise you with how mature and sensible she is.
With such a daughter, you will feel confident even when you’re old because you can be absolutely sure that she’ll never leave you in danger and will do everything she can to help you. Even if you’ve been turned into a hideous pig.
The good part is over, kids, so let’s get to the children who wouldn’t be so nice in your family.
Ciel — Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji)
“But I WOULD have him!” you may say, and we understand, we love Ciel, too. And we do understand that a lot of his issues come from losing his family. But we can’t ignore his dark side.
Too calm and scheming, too vengeful and proud. Try to upset him, and you’ll see his true face. Him being rather spoiled will also have its effect. Imagine your son promising to annihilate you if you refuse to buy him a new chess set he wants.
We also have a feeling that he’ll sometimes treat you like a servant instead of a parent, and that’s just no good.
Eren — Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin)
You might argue that he only became a mass murderer when he grew older, but let’s be honest, the signs were always there. Eren is a type of kid who’s capable of murder at the age of nine, and to be honest we’re not ready to get this type of call from the police.
Trying to control and parent him will also be an issue. A person that cherishes freedom more than anything else in the world is not a child to listen to his parents much. And imagine how many times you’ll have to apologize to neighbor kids’ parents when you find out that Eren started a fight with them. Again!
Riko — Made in Abyss
There’s nothing necessarily wrong with her, Riko is kind and gentle, always caring about those around her. But her curiosity and enthusiasm might become a major issue.
Riko will explore all the places she finds fascinating, and it’s going to go badly when these places start including haunted houses and other dangerous places. You’ll have to become a regular at a local hospital and you’ll never feel safe leaving her alone even for a second. There’s already enough stress in your life without a daughter like that.
Hibana — Deadman Wonderland
Sadistic and twisted children are not usually the dream kids that you have in mind while starting a family (no offense if they are for you). That’s why Hibana is on our list.
Physical violence is also something that can be expected from her, so homeschooling might be the only option if you don’t want any horrible accidents. But think about it, would you feel safe staying at home with Hibana for a long time?
Mariko — Elfen Lied
When you think of a special child, you don’t really think of a Diclonius with psychokinetic abilities, and there’s a reason for that. And Mariko will show you plenty of reasons why this is scary.
DO NOT even think about saying that another kid is cute or talented, Mariko is extremely jealous. If she gets an idea that you think another girl is better than her, she’ll solve this issue in a simple way: no other girl, no problem.